STARRED Book Review: Everywhere I Look

Reviewed by Elizabeth Reiser

A riveting look at the impact of dark family secrets

Ona Gritz uncovers more about her murdered sister and her family than she ever could have imagined in Everywhere I Look.

When Ona’s adopted older sister Angie disappears during Ona’s visit to San Francisco, she finds herself conflicted between being concerned and feeling indifferent. Ona is no stranger to Angie’s disappearing acts, so she is hesitant to worry. 

This all changes when her brother-in-law’s body is discovered, shot execution-style. Soon after, a pregnant Angie and her infant son are found murdered as well. Ona finds herself struggling with grief, but in some ways Angie’s terrible end is not ultimately shocking. As Ona explores her feelings surrounding the loss of her sister, she realizes how many aspects of Angie’s life she misunderstood and is led on a long journey of uncovering secrets she chose to ignore. 

As children, Angie was always the rebellious sister whereas Ona was the golden child, coddled by her overprotective parents due to health issues from birth. Where one felt love, the other felt unwanted. Through Ona’s research, she learns the truth about where her sister would go when she was sent away, and how the relationships in her family truly worked. Several shocking secrets are lurking in this family’s past, and her sister’s erratic behavior in her youth begins to make more sense. There is no doubt these secrets significantly shaped the course of Angie’s life and, ultimately, played a role in each decision leading up to her horrific death. 

Even though this is a book involving her sister’s murder, Ona only briefly dives into this event and the people responsible. While the murder could have been further explored, her decision not to do so makes sense. There are a number of fascinating twists and turns in this story, but nothing is salacious. At its core, this is more of a reflection on a misunderstood life than a true crime story, and it is clear how important it is to Ona that she respects her sister’s memory. It is also obvious the guilt Ona contends with, as she perhaps overcompensates in justifying Angie’s actions a bit. In doing so, Ona appears to be attempting to give Angie kindness in death which she didn’t receive in life.

Throughout the book, Ona is also refreshingly honest about herself and does not sugarcoat her actions growing up. Rather than falling into the trap of portraying herself as the put-upon “good” sister, she instead shows how her flaws were simply more easily forgiven by her family. The guilt she feels over being the favored and nurtured child is palpable; it’s a heartbreaking realization the author goes through as she comes to terms with her culpability in Angie’s feelings of being unwanted. It is almost as though this book is an apology letter from Ona to Angie (she addresses her directly throughout the book) where she holds her family and herself accountable for the tragic outcome.

At its core, Everywhere I Look is a gut-wrenching, heartbreaking, and wildly fascinating story about families and the secrets that destroy them. It is sure to stick with you.

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