Book Review: Magic in the Mess

Reviewed by Samantha Hui

An inspiring memoir about how change and personal progress are ours for the taking as long as we have the courage to reach out a hand

“I learned that real peace isn’t about avoiding turmoil but finding serenity within it, in the power of self-compassion and the beauty of embracing life’s imperfections.”

The perfectionist’s internal world is a whirlwind of anxious questions and lingering regrets: Why didn’t I think of this sooner? Why is this so hard? Why am I always so worried? Why am I like this?  These thoughts are a constant presence in the overthinker’s mind, yet they don’t truly belong to her. Molly Booker’s Magic in the Mess is a powerful coming of age memoir (no matter the age) about learning to let go of the version of ourselves we think others will love and about finding self-acceptance, flaws and all.

“Through it all, I became skilled at listening to pain, holding space, and offering hope, love, and a listening ear. While I considered it to be my calling and my gift, when it was one-sided, it became energetically draining.”

After two failed marriages and the emotional labor of being a pastor, Molly begins to question the image of perfection she’s clung to for so long. As senior pastor of the United Methodist Church of Eagle Valley, she has poured herself into her community, believing that her devotion would prove her worth and make her deserving of love. But in balancing the demands of her church duties (i.e. leading services, hosting gatherings, offering support) and her desire for connection, Molly struggles to maintain boundaries, especially when she grows closer to a member of her congregation: local celebrity chef Kelly Liken.

“The messiness of life, the complexities that might daunt others, became the canvas for our shared art.”

As her relationship with Kelly deepens into something possibly more than friendship, everything Molly thought she knew about her desires, her faith, and her identity is thrown into question. Magic In the Mess challenges Molly to confront her values, her past, and her future, in a moving story that reveals how true change happens when we stop holding on to who we think we should be and start embracing who we are. 

“I became a proficient tightrope walker, balancing on the thin line between the person I was expected to be and the person I was.”

What sets this memoir apart is Booker’s unflinching honesty and self-awareness. Her perfectionism, which has both fueled and frustrated her, is something many readers will connect with. She bravely reflects on the times she took herself too seriously or sabotaged her own happiness because she couldn’t let go of her idealized self. We can’t help but feel for her. If only she had trusted her instincts sooner!

“I constantly felt like a gender failure, and somehow, what I liked always felt wrong—like I was taking happiness away from others.”

The memoir offers a vivid view into Molly’s inner turmoil, even if it does occasionally become overwhelming due to the focus on her anxious thoughts. The emotionally charged text exchanges between Molly and Kelly are among the most impactful in revealing the depth of their relationship, while the author’s choice to emphasize her anxiety and perfectionism offers a genuine portrayal of someone deeply trapped in the cycle of self-doubt. On occasion, I did wish for a bit more showing than telling.

“Before, I had experienced love as getting. Now, it felt more like being.”

Magic In the Mess is a story about love, not as something to be earned or solved, but as something freely given, starting with the love we owe ourselves. This deeply introspective and inspiring memoir encourages readers to reflect on their own desires and question whether they’ve been chasing the right ones all along.

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