Book Review: I Blame Myself But Also You

Reviewed by John M. Murray

A sharp exposition of humanity’s need to belong in eleven surreal tales

Across genres from erotic romance to surreal fantasy, the stories in this collection grapple with the very human drive to find meaning in chaos. A few confront the transitional periods of life—childhood to young adult, singlehood into relationship. Each story stands alone with no connection to the others, and it makes for an intriguing mix of narratives.

After a man rushes her car while riding a scooter, a woman struggles to understand the meaning of the note he left behind. A guidebook given to a man detailing tourist attractions that don’t exist drives him mad with its slippery phrases. A single mother attempts to decipher the maps her mute son draws endlessly before crafting an atlas of places that might not exist. Some of the stories can be easily summarized into a sentence ,but others are more about the experience of reading and the time spent contemplating the myriad meanings hidden within.

The thematic core of the need to find a place and how to deal with not finding it serve as the powerful emotional connective thread. Each of the main characters confront a world where they don’t fit in and the irrational ways they attempt are fascinating, endearing, and often heartbreaking.

The title story follows a woman deciphering a suicide note that says “I Blame Myself But Also You.” She does a rational thing by attending the funeral hoping to talk to family or friends, but she is mistaken for his wife who lives out of state. Rather than correcting them, she leans into the misunderstanding, but that doesn’t provide any clarity. The note and its meaning elude her and pushes her to an emotional breaking point.

Some of the stories are almost familiar with the evocative descriptions and focus on emotional reactions, even if you’ve never been in the situation yourself. The mother building an atlas of maps might not be relatable, but the drive to connect with her son at any cost is universal. Regardless of how or why he’s able to draw these maps isn’t important, but he is her son and her love compels her to understand him. The surreal nature of the stories isn’t off-putting but attention grabbing, pulling focus to the human core of each story.

A few of the shorter stories don’t work as well for me, lacking the build-up and narrative artistry of the longer ones. There’s not much time to connect to the story or its characters before it ends, which is out of place when compared to the others in the collection.

I Blame Myself But Also You is an eclectic collection of unsettling but familiar short stories with remarkable characters and evocative situations. Some have bizarre circumstances like a boy drawing maps of places that don’t exist or a devil running a record store, but each pulls at a resonant thread of social connection and how to deal with the emotional loss of not finding your place.

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