STARRED Book Review: Hey You Assholes

Reviewed by Nick Rees Gardner

Sharp and witty, Hey You Assholes is a collection that details the mundanities of working class life and the ways we fight to transcend the drudgery.

Kyle Seibel proves his mastery of quick, gutting prose in his collection of 32 short stories, Hey You Assholes. A series of working-class tales separated into three sections, each character narrates their own story in first or second person, in their own voice, telling their own personal narratives about Taco Bell careers or jobs monitoring urine tests.

As can be surmised from the book’s uncouth title, Hey You Assholes is a deep dive into the lives of unpopular people: soft-hearted alcoholics, wiley factory workers, and Navy veterans who feel forever lost at sea. More than merely amplifying the voices of the down-and-out, the hopeless, broke romantics, Seibel reveals the humanity at the heart of belligerent toughs and the tenderness that sops beneath the shell of machismo. In short, Seibel takes on characters who are often referred to as assholes and reveals their sensitivities, forcing them to change.

However, the stories range widely. In “Dumpster Cats,” the narrator, a salvage worker hitting on the girlfriend of an imprisoned friend, examines prayer, violence, and the limits of justice by caring for a cat he lovingly calls “Preacher.” And the final story, “Master Guns,” contemplates loneliness, isolation, and the tough facades people create so as not to appear vulnerable. A steadfast youth pastor snatches for fragments of faith while he deals with his own mortality in “At This Week’s Meeting of the Young Mountain Movers,” while, in “Fish Man,” an alcoholic attempts to save fish from a draining pond because “There are no easy decisions left to make.”

What is most outstanding about Seibel’s writing is the way he attacks large, philosophical questions in tandem with seemingly simple choices. For example, on a surface level, “The Former Mayor of Baghdad” is about a drunk man attempting to warn a restaurant owner about his bad real estate investment, but the full story digs much deeper with questions of religion, spirituality, gentrification, and war. His characters are in crisis and Seibel vividly displays the havoc wrecked on both their inner and outer landscapes.

Though Hey You Assholes is a heavy collection, filled with deep-seated troubles, sorrow, and dread, Seibel introduces his characters to the bizarre, the strange, and the just plain weird to add a sense of levity. In “Listening to Dinosaurs,” for example, the protagonist consults with a band of dinos. His prose also softens the blow, like when the protagonist of “The World’s Biggest Moron Stops Laughing,” describes the cause for his fit of giggles as “The coke bottle of infidelity and the Mentos of my mom.” Reminiscent of other greats like Sam Pink and Etgar Keret, Seibel’s narrators use matter-of-fact language, quick wit, and always take unexpected turns. 

With Hey You Assholes, Kyle Seibel breaks through traditional modes of storytelling. He refutes the need for a likable character and imposes a character who’s more realistic, more flawed. Seibel’s people speak of trivial things with rhythm and flow but aren’t afraid to take on a broken world’s more severe, more difficult subjects. This is what makes Hey You Assholes an important book. It is a collection of the lives and trials of the people often overlooked by society, the impoverished, the addicted, the assholes who flip you the bird for apparently no reason. Seibel knows the reason. He’ll share it with you and he won’t hold anything back. 

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